We withdrew our son James* from school in July 2023 at the end of Year 7. Within just six weeks of starting secondary school, we knew something wasn’t right. He had become withdrawn, anxious, and quiet, so unlike the boy we knew. It became clear he was being bullied, but despite raising our concerns, things didn’t improve.
Over the Christmas holidays, we discovered that James had begun self-harming. It was heartbreaking and although the school was saying all the right things, in reality, nothing was improving. James started refusing to attend, and when he did go in, he struggled to engage. Things escalated further when he was physically assaulted (strangled by another student) and then became involved in a shoplifting incident. A group of children had pressured him into stealing, only to take the items from him afterwards. He told us he just wanted to fit in. It was clear his mental health was deteriorating rapidly, and we couldn’t stand by and watch it worsen.
In February 2023, we made the decision to remove him from school at the end of the academic year. It was an incredibly difficult decision, we were scared we might be making a mistake and worried about how others would judge us going against the mainstream. But when we informed the school, their response was a generic letter stating we were making the wrong choice, that lack of understanding only confirmed what we already felt deep down, we were absolutely doing the right thing for James as an individual.
From September 2023 to May 2024, we home educated James ourselves. In the first few weeks, we didn’t focus on formal schoolwork, instead, we gave him space to recover and rebuild his confidence. We concentrated on everyday life skills like cooking, moving around the city on public transport, and managing his time wisely, things that helped him feel capable, grounded, and more independent. It was about helping him feel safe again before reintroducing any structured learning.
It was not all plain sailing, and we absolutely had days where James didn’t want to do anything at all. There were moments of frustration, resistance, and self-doubt, for him and for us. Some days simply getting through the day was an achievement in itself. We had to learn to be flexible, to listen, and to recognise when he needed space rather than structure. Those days were challenging, but they were also part of the process, important steps in rebuilding trust, confidence, and a love of learning on his own terms.
We began to introduce formal Maths and English in short, manageable sessions, just 15 to 20 minutes a day and quickly realised how effective this approach was. With one-to-one attention and lessons tailored to his needs, James was absorbing just as much, if not more, than he had in a traditional classroom setting. These sessions weren’t just about sitting at a table either, they were often practical and rooted in real life. For example, we worked out percentage increases while adjusting recipes in the kitchen, and practised currency conversions while travelling abroad. It made learning feel natural, relevant, and far less intimidating.
I won’t pretend I wasn’t daunted by the idea of teaching Maths myself, it was genuinely intimidating at first. But we discovered a wealth of resources, and whenever we were unsure, there was always a YouTube video or online guide to help us figure it out together.
Finding Streams Learning Hub** was a turning point.
James joined Streams in May 2024, and since then, we’ve seen a remarkable transformation. He’s more confident, more engaged, and, most importantly happier. The team took the time to understand him, and that made all the difference. He has made friends, found his voice again, and begun to enjoy learning in a way we hadn’t seen for a long time.
He’s also had the chance to try things we simply couldn’t offer at home. Art, Drama, and technology have become firm favourites, subjects that have sparked his curiosity and helped him grow in ways we never imagined.
Looking back, we can say with absolute certainty that removing James from school was the right decision for him. Two years on, we have a confident, emotionally well young person and in our eyes, that is more valuable than any academic achievement. James is now in a place where he is ready to learn and excited about what comes next. He’ll soon begin a GCSE in Marine Science through Streams, and in September he’ll start college to study for his Maths and English GCSEs, alongside a Level 1 course in Media. This pathway will give him exactly what he needs for the next stage of his education. It may look different from what we once imagined, but that’s okay because every child’s journey is unique, and James is finally on one that is right for him.
As parents, we’re incredibly grateful. Streams hasn’t just supported James’s education, it has helped him heal. He is rediscovering who he is, in an environment that values him for exactly that.
*name changed to protect identity
**Streams Learning Hub is a part-time co-learning space for home-educated teens, offering flexible, interest-led workshops and a supportive community outside of school.